Forget keeping calm!

Apparently the keeping calm and carrying on principle for coping is absolutely not the thing to do!

We need to act. We are designed to act and when trouble appears….adrenalin boosts so we can act! Now if we use all our energy on denying there’s a problem to ‘look as if’ it doesn’t matter to us when it clearly does, we deny ourselves agency over our situation. Madness!

So the next time trouble appears. Think of the other adages….. there are no problems only solutions and if you’re not part of the solution your are part of the problem! Remind yourself that the reason for the keep calm and carry on, stiff upper lip approach was born out of fear – fear of being seen as inadequate or failing to cope … rooted in pride rather than meeting any need, even ones own!

Don’t keep calm. Use your emotional response to alert you to a need ……because that’s what it’s doing! – anger, frustration, panic, raised heartbeat, clenching fists, hot and cold flushes – all these are telling you something’s afoot that needs your attention. THEN engage brain. What is the best thing to do about this. Even if you decide it’s something you don’t need to tackle at all!….. at least you’ve taken your own response seriously.

If we practice this approach it strengthens our belief in ourselves and our choices – because we’ve down justice to ourselves and the need. This can only be good for us and the greater good. Happy New Year!

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